What men really find physically attractive in women – Pst! It’s Israeli born model Bar Refaeli’s natural beauty
I have sooooo many girlfriends who are constantly quizzing me and puzzling over what men really find physically attractive and want in a future girlfriend.
Do they want big boobs? Long hair? Eyelash extensions? A K-dash booty or a size six frame? The list goes on.
Their obsession with trying to work this out and hopefully attract a total babe (a.k.a soulmate) has led them to exhaust, doubt, and hate themselves – or even worse, give up looking after themselves all together!
After being lured into these self hating chats with friends over coffee, I’ve decided to write and debunk exactly what men want and I know with a huge amount of confidence that I’m correct.
Bar Refaeli is what they want. No, not the blonde hair and massive boobs (many guys I know prefer dark hair and a smaller chest) – they are attracted to Bar’s ‘girl next door’ effortless beauty and her ‘no makeup’ makeup style.
It’s also how she places a huge amount of value on her personal hygiene (she is a model after all!) which really is the biggest tick for any male.
No guy will ever attempt to kiss a girl if she looks like she hasn’t brushed her teeth for the last fortnight – it’s just gross.
If you are one of these girls constantly wondering what men want, I’ve written a short to-the-point list of what you need to change (or keep doing!) to attract men. Some of these may come across harsh, even obvious to some, but they are the truth and only written to help you.
1. Clean, longish, blow-dried hair
Men are attracted to clean hair that can be ruffeled with your hands and flicked from side to side in the wind. Do you really think that multi-billion dollar companies (like Pantene) show girls flicking their shiny hair in front of a fan during their expensive advertisements for no reason? It’s because it oozes sex appeal, youth, health and vitality.
Look, I don’t believe you should have overly long, tacky hair. The opposite. Collarbone length hair that is regularly trimmed will attract men.
Make sure you wash it often. No male will be attracted to greasy, dandruff plagued hair. Again, it’s just gross. Who want’s to run their hands through that? Also if you do tend to have frizzy hair (I know I do!) invest in a GHD and straighten your hair a couple of times a week to create a sleek finish. It takes only 20 minutes. Do it.
2. Maintained eyebrows
Achieving ‘natural beauty’ isn’t just about eating well and slapping a smile on your face. It’s about general grooming as well. Bar Refaeli would also work at all of these points that I’m listing to keep herself looking gorgeous – no one just rolls out of bed and looks fantastic.
Men are attracted to (whether they know it or not) well maintained eyebrows. Unless you’re an expert, don’t pluck them yourself at home. I’ve seen too many girls walking around with what looks like reverse Nike ticks on their forehead. Go get them waxed monthly or bi-monthly (depending on how fast they grow). If you grow light fluff around your lips, have this waxed off at the same time as well. Don’t be embarrassed – I’d say about 60% of girls have this.
3. Clear skin
Men are attracted to clear skin. Can you blame them? I know I find men with nice supple skin equally attractive.
If you suffer from extreme hormonal acne that just won’t budge, it’s time to talk to your local GP or dermatologist and take stronger medication to sooth any inflammation.
However, if you’re just lazy and not washing your face at all, morning or night – well you have yourself to blame for looking like an oil slick. Same goes for premature ageing. If you aren’t wearing sunscreen or wearing an anti-ageing night cream or eye cream, it’s your own fault if you look 35 instead of 25. There are so many amazing, and now affordable, skincare ranges on the market.
Find time to look after your skin, it’s the largest organ of your body (true fact!) and it’s often the first thing men notice and judge ‘natural beauty’ on.
4. Clean straight teeth
This point is more about clean teeth than anything else. Like I wrote above, what could be more of a turn off then peering into someone’s mouth to see discolouration, food wedged between their teeth or even worse, obvious gum disease. It’s just unhygienic and no one will want to swap saliva with you!
If this does sound like you, head to the dentist quick smart for a regular clean and polish. You’ll be surprised at what a huge change even this will make to your teeth!
If you have insecurities over crowded teeth (we’ve all been there, I’m even wearing Invisalign now!) and you haven’t had any orthodontic work, it’s time to weigh up how it effects your daily happiness. If you literally hate smiling in public, start saving for braces or Invisalign (I like Invisalign because no one can see them while you’re wearing them!). Some places will even let you pay in installments so you won’t feel a huge dent in your bank account.
Also – if anyone has ever told you that you have bad breath, start chewing minty gum. Chewing gum often helps to dislodge any food particles after you’ve eaten as well, which will stop you walking around with broccoli in your teeth.
5. Natural ‘no-makeup’ makeup
This is a big, super important, point.
The reason why men would look at Bar Refaeli and think she is drop dead gorgeous is because she looks to be wearing no makeup and STILL looks phenomenal – even though she really is!
It’s just blended very well in natural colours that help to highlight her best features, not parade them.
Girl’s will often say ‘he told me he prefers girls without makeup’. He obviously doesn’t know that the ones he is actually attracted to are wearing a tinted moisturiser with the slightest touch of brown lengthening mascara and an illuminator swiped across the cheeks. He just thinks she’s born a babe.
Most guys just don’t like the Geordie Shore look. There’s a big difference girls. Play up your best assets with neutral makeup. No guy will be attracted to you if you look like you’ve just rolled out of bed.
6. Curvy athletic body
Men are after a curvy girl who looks fit. They don’t want a praying mantis straight off Paris Fashion Week’s runway, nor do they want a girl who doesn’t look like she could run to save her life.
They want someone who looks like fun, who can participate in outdoor activities with them and have a blast. Hence why Bar Refaeli ranks high again. She’s always jumping from the top of yachts (what a life!), cycling around cities, going for a jog etc.
She also has amazing curves and isn’t a scrawny rake – she has hips! Stop doubting and telling yourself that you need to be a size 6 or 4 to appear sexy. Instead hit the gym and do some weights to work on your booty and firm up your arms. More guys will be attracted to that.
7. Glowy tanned, hairless skin
Men are attracted to glowy skin because it looks like you actually get out and participate in life. I’m not talking about a raging Donatella Versace tangerine complexion, I mean a subtle bronzed glow from being outdoors and soaking in some Vitamin D (which is crucial for your health as it improves bone density and wards off depression.)
I have naturally fair skin and I don’t feel like I need to change that (I even think it gives me a slightly French look) but even I notice the healthy glow (not a tan) that comes from being active outdoors. Try it! Men notice it believe me! You’ll suddenly get compliments like ‘wow, you look great!’.
Also, make sure to shave, wax, laser-off or epiliate away hair on your legs, bikini line and under arms. Spiky legs won’t ever become a sign of beauty. EVER.
8. Neat fingernails
Another no brainer – men don’t like the look of chewed back fingernails and sore raggedy looking cuticles.
If you’re a nail biter (I used to be!) start visiting your closest salon and have them buff and apply a gel top coat. You’ll be less likely to chew at your nails if you know you’ve spent the time, money and now have a hard upper layer on them.
Same goes with your toes, chipped nail polish just screams ‘I don’t spend any time on myself’. It’s a turnoff.
If you start rocking clean blow-waved hair, a shiny bright smile, ‘no makeup’ makeup and spend time working on your curves with weights at the gym – you’ll have men drooling at your feet in no time.
As a side note – these are all physical changes, not inner personality ones. These will all attract a man, but if you are self loathing or nasty and speak poorly about other people, you’ll lose him in a flash. Match your heart to your perfected appearance as well.
Let me know what you think of this piece below and if these changes start to work in your favour.